One of the most significant consequences of counter allegations is the damage they inflict on women, who often face more severe repercussions than men. Beyond the immediate emotional toll, women may lose access to their homes, their children and face criminalisation, and for migrant women the consequences might lead to their resettlement application being rejected. This leaves women without any support, and feeling unsafe to call the police in the future.
In fact, around 50% of recent referrals to Advance’s Diversion project have stemmed from women being arrested as a result of counter allegations. Dali Kaur explained why police tend to believe men over women in these cases, even when officers have visited the home previously. “He gains so much power over years of abuse that he can manipulate the situation and turn it around,”.
This important conversation is shedding light on the often unseen consequences of counter allegations, and the need for greater support for survivors.
Michelle, woman with lived experience said:
Jessica, woman with lived experience said:
I got married at 31 and had a big family but we’d never had a visit from social services until two of my older children became teenagers. My daughter, now in her late teens, would go for me and the violence got worse and worse. Once she lashed out, and my head hit the wall and I hit the floor. My son, who’s in his early 20s, videoed it and they laughed about it and watched it over and over, but my husband, who colluded with the children, did nothing. “Another time, she knocked me unconscious when I was reading stories on the bed with my younger son, who later said he thought I was dead. “My son and daughter’s behaviour became worse. But every time they knew they’d done something, they would report me, leading to my arrest for common assault. “The police bashed through my bedroom door. They grabbed me, put a handcuff on one hand, and dragged me out. I was in custody for over 24 hours, crying the whole way through. “I learnt a coping mechanism of putting things over my head so I couldn’t see the world. The police said that I was asleep the whole time. “Initially I was bailed, and then I wasn’t on bail but was under investigation. After nearly a year, I was charged, but just before the crown court hearing, it was cancelled. All my children have been affected by it and I carry that with me. I don’t have anything to do with my other son and daughter. “Right now, I’m at the point where I have low moments and I’ll cry but I’m living with a friend and have a good support network. I’ve regained strength and know who I am.
For 16 days of Activism, Advance hosted a series of webinars looking at the intersection of women’s experiences of domestic abuse and their criminalisation. You can catch up on the webinars and access our resources:
About Advance
- Advance’s vision is a world in which women and children lead safe, equal, violence-free lives so that they can flourish and actively contribute to society. The charity works with women who experience domestic abuse to be safe and take control of their lives, and women who have committed crime or are at risk of offending to break the cycle.
- As well as providing direct support, Advance works with statutory services, government agencies and other women’s charities to ensure a holistic approach to the issues these women face.
- Women must be referred to Advance, via statutory services or the charity’s self-referral scheme. For more information about who Advance is able to support, please visit Get help
- For facts and statistics about domestic abuse and women in the criminal justice system, as well as Advance’s work, please visit Our impact
